What was I thinking????

Ok, it's that time, it is panic time.  I have spent the whole day watching youtube videos and panic-ing, already.  Will that prevent open water panic, just get it over with now?  I sure hope so.  One video shows the cut-off of last years swim, three swimmers didn't make it and they looked like darn good swimmers to me.  I just sat there with tears in my eyes, what is wrong with me-----.
I am stressed, I can't concentrate.  Friday I went down to Redlands Cyclery, I forgot it's their huge sale weekend, the guy outside told me I should leave my bike then and could maybe get it back on Thurs.  Umm that's not going to work.  I went inside and talked to Eddie, bike can go in on Tuesday and out Tuesday.  Yay Eddie!  Bike is basically ok, just an issue with a quick release lever, a general tune up and I'm going to put a cheap computer on it so the Garmin goes on my wrist.
I still haven't decided what I'm going to wear, okay so this is probably just a girly girl issue, but here's the problem:  my Redlands Tri Club jersey has two ridiculously small pockets, so do I wear a regular bike jersey?  Do I really need all that stuff I like to put in my pockets?   I've decided just to pack every bit of work out clothes I own, tri jersey/shorts, bike jersey/shorts, run clothes, short sleeves, long sleeves, jackets, you name it I will probably have it with me.  Usually I can pack for a week in a backpack and still not use everything, this time I think it will be the gigantic suitcase with the wheels, heck maybe even the whole set.  I don't have a nutrition plan, I really feel like I just don't know what I am doing at all.
Oh and another thing, today was stake conference.  I've always felt a little guilty about doing a Sunday race, 'cause really I have never raced on Sunday.  So what did President H talk about today--secrets, sunburn and regrets.  In other words are we keeping secrets that aren't congruent with our values, with our own integrity (perhaps that should be professed integrity), for example going to the beach on Sunday, do we compromise our values for sunburn and regret.  Ok, maybe I should just bail now.
My thoughts keep jumping all over and I know this post is a little random, I'm not sure how to gather and calm myself.